please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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