Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
