Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
