halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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