I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
COCAINE IS GR8
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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