Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
