I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm passing your future prison.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
