How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
