So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He called his prostate his "boner button".
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
