Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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