Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Best friends brother. Beat that.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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