i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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