Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
