There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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