No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
