College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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