True but thats because hes a fetus.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
