is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
