Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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