Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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