The brown eye won't let me do that either.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
