Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
