This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
it hurts more in the daytime
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
