we have pet lesbian snakes
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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