Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Randomize
