What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
