Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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