It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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