so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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