# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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