how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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