had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
