Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
