Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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