No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
