big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
