i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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