I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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