She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
