Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
