I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
