help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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