I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
