I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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