Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
