at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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