i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
