I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
