i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
