As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
