The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
